Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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