The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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