did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
