You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
