Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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