I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
