I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i think i have herpe
just one?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
