Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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