handjob tips. give me some.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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