he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Im part way to drunk.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
