Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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