youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
