There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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