Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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