I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
