I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
