I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Randomize
