So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
