Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
