i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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