Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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