Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
As shirtless as possible
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
