Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
soo... how was my night?
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