Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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