i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
