I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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