similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
