he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
