Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
