She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
