i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
