You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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