O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
