I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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