i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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