yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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