I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
