guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Terrible idea I love it
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
