I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize