She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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