no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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