my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
