I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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