??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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