you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
