She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I understand Curling. That high.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
