we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
she told me i tasted like america
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
