I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i already hear my dad disowning me
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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