Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
