im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize