he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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