She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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