i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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