When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
