youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
