what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
