Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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