okay pat passed out under dana's car
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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