So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Are my feet made of real feet?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
