no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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